Forgiveness

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When it comes to emotions, deep hurt or anger from a loved one can be hard to come back from. It is really difficult to see the other side when you are clouded with pain or rage. Finding clarity in the midst of these emotions is very difficult. It may take some time to take a step back and try to look at things from a different perspective.

Recently, I hurt a good friend with something I said by venting to another person that involved my friend. What I shared was unfortunately spread like a rumor, and got back to my friend, even though that was not the intention I had in mind. I was confronted about it when the rumor surfaced and I reacted in shock and embarrassment. I apologized about the result of what had occurred. There was nothing I could do to change what happened. All I can do now, is learn from my past and move forward. I had other mixed feelings though. This same friend had been affecting me negatively for several months and I was confused and lost about how to handle the circumstances that I was dealing with. In my mind all I did was vent about my own feelings with what was happening. I don’t know why the person I told my feelings to chose to share it with others, but I do know I should be careful who I choose to confide in. I also know that for a long time I felt guilty about sharing the personal information, but I came to a realization that I dealt with my situation by talking about it, like I always do. Why is talking about my feelings bad? So my friend and I spent some time apart without talking much, since we were both in a hard place with each other. We have a long history of friendship and have been through a lot together and have been each other’s confidant and rock at times. It is sad for us both to see how far south our friendship has gone.  The other night, she apologized for her reaction, but admitted that she was still dealing with strong emotions of hurt and anger. I was too, but it did feel good to hear that she still loves me and wants me to be happy no matter what has come between us. I felt the same way. We can’t solve it all with one conversation, but it was a good start to begin the healing process. I appreciated her honesty and acknowledged that it showed a lot of maturity that she was able to admit she was sorry for her behavior. I repeated how sorry I was about my actions as well. We laughed, we cried, we talked, and we sat in silence.

Forgiveness is very healing both for yourself and for the person you are choosing to forgive. It takes mercy, understanding, openness, and love to forgive someone else that you feel has hurt you deeply. The truth is forgiving someone else, though seemly a selfless act, is often more beneficial to yourself, so you can feel better and let your heart begin to heal. You can make yourself crazy, keeping in anger and resentment for someone else. It solves nothing to hold hatred or a grudge against someone else; you are only hurting yourself. I think my friend needed to feel better about herself, our friendship, and the whole situation. It was affecting both of our emotions, how much sleep we were getting, our health and well being. We, as people, can become so stressed that we can literally make ourselves sick. I’m glad my friend was able to come out of the hurt and anger for a moment of clarity. My friend still needs time and so do I to heal fully, but at least we were able to finally have a good and honest conversation. Sometimes, a step in the right direction is all you need to feel better and know you are headed in the right direction. You don’t always have to make giant leaps of progress toward something, especially if you are not ready to do so. Remember, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu.

Take care of yourself, your emotions, your body, and your overall health. Wake up each day with renewed joy to do your best and love with an open heart. We all make mistakes and we all have the ability to forgive if we choose. If not for the other person, do it for yourself.

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