Rain Cloud


Lately, I have felt a bit like Eeyore from Winnie The Pooh. When something negative happens to or around Eeyore, he always responds with a certain knowing, as though he expected things to not work out.

Have you ever felt like that, when you doubted the outcome of an event before you even tried it or gave it a chance? A lot of our doubt comes from fear. We question ourselves and wonder if we are good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, talented enough, etc. We make up stories of all the possible outcomes, often bad, that do not end up in our favor and have not even happened in reality, only in our imaginations. Our minds are so powerful that we believe our thoughts as absolute truths. So it is important when we are thinking and “talking to ourselves” that we are aware of the words we choose. When things as we see it are not going the way we would have hoped they would go, we start to almost expect it and attract more of it. When we develop this sort of mentality, it becomes second nature. It feels like there is a dark and gloomy cloud just over our heads only and the “storm” does not seem to be affecting anyone else around. I, like Eeyore, have created my own little rain cloud that follows me everywhere I go, because it has become a part of me. The rain cloud represents my negative outlook, my doubts, my fears, my self-hatred, etc. Most people live their whole lives like this and may not even realize the vicious cycle they are in. They do not recognize how poorly they are treating themselves and never come to the conclusion that something in their lives or minds needs to change.

I question, why is this happening to me? What did I do or am I doing to deserve this unfortunate chain of events or attract this negativity into my life? What change needs to happen for these things to stop? Sometimes change is good, but in the moment it may not appear to be a positive change. Sometimes our perspective is the only thing that can change our reaction and our outcome. Maybe that rain cloud needed to wash away something unwanted or unnecessary in my life that I was not able to remove on my own, without force. An example of this, in my own life, was with a past employer. I worked as a Receptionist at a company for five years. I grew bored of this position after a year or two and the tasks became simple and mundane. I attempted to get promoted but I was told I needed a degree, which I did not have. So I kept allowing them to add on more responsibility in hopes that my work there would become more interesting and fill up my day. The truth is, I was miserable. I was left alone with all of my thoughts and I felt like my job did not really matter. It did not fulfill me or inspire me. I should have quit, but instead I stayed long enough for everyone else to realize I was miserable too. I kept showing up late and they came to the conclusion that I did not care much for what I was doing and they fired me for my tardiness. It was really a blessing in disguise but at the time I had no plans, no savings account, and no way to pay my bills. I was horrified at the thought of being jobless and it left me in a panicked state that eventually caused me to be depressed. Luckily, I had a lot of really special people in my life that helped to lift my spirits and encouraged me not to give up. I worked odd jobs for several years and life is still not perfect, but it did take that major change to get me out of my comfort zone and into reality. I needed to figure out what I do like and what does fulfill me, inspire me, and cause me to jump out of bed in the morning.

I believe that if we do not learn lessons that they come back around again and again, until we do get it and change. I have found myself in situations recently that remind me of being in that very same spot, which is unhappy where I am at but too afraid to make the change myself. Eventually the Universe gives us a kick in the butt and forces the change whether we are ready or not and then there are a lot more elements out of our control. Whatever the case is for you and your life, whether you are unhappy at work or in a personal relationship, or in your living situation, please do yourself a favor and take the time to discover what you really want in life and go get it. Don’t wait for a storm to come and destroy everything for you, forcing you to rebuild. Sometimes if you are able to realize it in time, these changes can be positive and amazing! While, other times if we are still stuck in a rut and do not wake up from it, we just stay in a perpetual habit, like as if you are in the eye of a tornado, never really finding our way out. There are stages in our lives, defining points, that can dictate where we go next or where we end up, but it is so easy to forget how much control we have in these situations. Our mindset and perspective and reaction to these events can make us better and stronger or they can break us down and cause us to give up the fight. I believe that we cannot fully understand and appreciate the sun or the good times, if we do not also have the rain and the harder times.

I want to take this time to tell you that you are worth it, to never give up on yourself, and if you are your own rain cloud, why not be your own sunshine too? Be your own cheerleader in life, your own coach, and your own counselor. There may be many people that come in and out of your life that will help or support you on your journey, but it is ultimately up to you what you do within your own life and how you spend your time while you are here. If it is so easy to imagine things going wrong, why is it so difficult to imagine everything going perfectly and exactly how you imagined? The truth is, it is not difficult to think those positive thoughts. You just have to believe that you deserve those good things to happen and actually want it. If you are not convinced, how do you expect to convince the Universe?

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